Thursday, July 2, 2009

I Stand Alone

I read your book
And I find it strange
That I know that girl and I know her world
A little too well
And I didn't know
By giving my hand
That I would be written down, sliced around
Passed down among strangers' hands

Three days in Rome
Where do we go
I'll always remember
Three days in Rome

Never again
Would I see your face
You carry a pen and a paper
And no time and no words you waste
Oh, you're a voyeur
The worst kind of thief
To take what happened to us
To write down everything
That went on between you and me

Three days in Rome
And I stand alone
I'll always remember
Three days in Rome

And what do I get
Do I get revenge?
While you lay it all out
Without any doubt
Of how this would end
Sometimes it goes
And sometimes we come
To learn by mistake
That the love you once made
Can't be undone

Three days in Rome
I laid my heart out
I laid my soul down alone
I'll always remember
Three days in Rome





I've not spent three days in Rome but I did spend three days in a place that feels like home to me and have paid the price ever since. Dearly. As with dropping a stone in a pond, it's not necessarily the initial disturbance of all things seemingly peaceful but the ripples that continue on and spread out.

I've found the search for living in the truth is not an easy road in any way, shape or form. And people get hurt. And, if you put too much trust in them, you pay the ultimate price. Losing yourself.

I have enabled so many people in my life. Many, many people and their issues. Their baggage. Their bad behaviors. I've done so in the hopes of helping them reach higher ground. Find happiness in themselves and, in doing so, share happiness with me. This has not happened.

But I see now, more clearly than I've ever seen it in my forty years, that no one is worthy of me having to pay that price. No One. And I will never, EVER pay that price for anyone again.

It only seems fitting on this Independence Day, that I will reclaim my independence. That I will no longer entertain those that have their own agendas, most often at the expense of others. My expense.

I am taking a stand.

Alone.

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