Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Reality

"He was totally out of my league. Of course now I know that no one and nothing is out of my league. Age has given me some self-respect, if nothing else."

A friend recently shared this ridiculously simple yet profound statement. And then she posted this pic of me.

I was stunned when I saw myself. The irony is that I was in such a state of flux.....broken-hearted, broken, lost. But I look incredibly healthy, happy, youthful...and DAMN look at my hair!

But upon closer examination, I see a more accurate picture emerge. I'm in a smoky, booze-drenched bar (where I practically lived, at the time). I've sidled up to some stranger, putting on a fraudulent smile so the world won't see what's going on with me on the inside.

I excel at being all things to others and nothing for myself. A chameleon, of sorts, mirroring my environment so as to not be destroyed by it.

So the girl with the big, shiny smile and the somewhat broken heart and spirit still lives on. She just realizes now that she creates her own reality. Heartbreak, happiness, and all.

4 comments:

  1. i am your witness, ann!

    girl... i am so a chameleon STILL. i think i am ready to just be a regular ol' lizard.

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  2. oh, and ps: you were quite stunning, indeed, but i think you are even more beautiful now.

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  3. I look up to you, woman.
    I LOOK UP TO YOU SO MUCH!

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