Sunday, March 15, 2009

Truth

I'm a big fan of the A&E series "Intervention". I always figured it was a rubbernecking reflex...watching those that are so obviously worse off than me. But, after watching it regularly, I started to see a pattern. The addiction, whether it be drugs or alcohol or gambling, is almost always deeply rooted in a familial dysfunction. There is always some trigger, some cause and effect, that sets this person and family into a wild, downward tailspin. The addict slowly (or quickly, as the case may be) implodes as the family watches on in disgust - abandoning all care and concern for each other. They reach their breaking point, confront and then heal. Or say goodbye.

A pattern.

Over the past few months, I've reconnected with old friends, boyfriends, classmates, co-workers...all the while forging new friendships, facing old transgressions, healing old wounds. It's been enlightening to say the very least.

And, through all of it, I always come back to the fact that, even though I had manipulated the memory, the truth of it all, to make myself believe it was something else, I had it right. I was right all along. Sure, there are details and facts I've learned through the process of revisiting history but, essentially, my assessment was dead on.

I always find myself nervously waiting for the last two or three minutes of the episode. The moment when we find out if the addict has successfully faced their demons. Found their formula that works. It seems so bittersweet that they must completely change their location, their mindset, their life.....typically leaving family and friends for a new life of sobriety. Of healing. Their life hanging delicately in the balance...hinging on the truth.

Truth.

Because that's what it's all about, after all, right? Speaking the truth. Owning the truth. And I've decided, until we do that, consider our impact on others, on the world, and on ourselves, we'll never see our pattern. Find our formula. Live in the truth.

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