Sunday, March 29, 2009

Immortal Beloved

Yes, I know this was referenced in SATC but, come on, isn't this something we all would love to receive?

"Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours"

That Ludwig was really on to something.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Photo Friday

Last day of spring break means long day playing at the park. As usual, my muse was only too willing to pose for me. She makes it too easy.

Happy Weekending!

Thursday, March 26, 2009


With Mother Nature taunting us with her feminine wiles....warm weather, blossoms bursting out of their little cocoons, feet welcoming their long lost flip seems only natural to spend every possible moment at the park.

And, unfortunately, this freak had the same glorious idea.

(please note the totally freaked out moms watching him swing. It was either at this point or when he was talking to himself that we all reached for our cell phones to call 911...)

Then he decided to bask in the rays of the sun in his genius "hammock". Obviously, at this point, all parents and children had abandoned ship except for the poor, terrified little bubby in the swing next to him.

I predict years of therapy.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009


In this day and age of "original" ideas being ripped off by everyone and their dog (is there really an original idea, anyway?) I found this particularly entertaining and downright laughable.


Tuesday, March 17, 2009


There was a time, many moons ago, that I thought this would be the luckiest day of my life. A day of my very own. A day to celebrate. And then, as quickly as it began, it ended.

Over the years, I acquiesced to the belief that this was the unluckiest day of the year for me. Boyfriends showed their ugly side (green beer didn't help), people pinched me for not wearing green, friends chimed in with shenanigans while I aimed for a record-breaking hangover, dreams were dreamt and shattered again.

But now, nearly half a lifetime later, I realize the power of the phrase "thoughts become things". I can now see that I created my own reality. Created my own luck. And I can feel my luck is changing.

Sunday, March 15, 2009


I'm a big fan of the A&E series "Intervention". I always figured it was a rubbernecking reflex...watching those that are so obviously worse off than me. But, after watching it regularly, I started to see a pattern. The addiction, whether it be drugs or alcohol or gambling, is almost always deeply rooted in a familial dysfunction. There is always some trigger, some cause and effect, that sets this person and family into a wild, downward tailspin. The addict slowly (or quickly, as the case may be) implodes as the family watches on in disgust - abandoning all care and concern for each other. They reach their breaking point, confront and then heal. Or say goodbye.

A pattern.

Over the past few months, I've reconnected with old friends, boyfriends, classmates, co-workers...all the while forging new friendships, facing old transgressions, healing old wounds. It's been enlightening to say the very least.

And, through all of it, I always come back to the fact that, even though I had manipulated the memory, the truth of it all, to make myself believe it was something else, I had it right. I was right all along. Sure, there are details and facts I've learned through the process of revisiting history but, essentially, my assessment was dead on.

I always find myself nervously waiting for the last two or three minutes of the episode. The moment when we find out if the addict has successfully faced their demons. Found their formula that works. It seems so bittersweet that they must completely change their location, their mindset, their life.....typically leaving family and friends for a new life of sobriety. Of healing. Their life hanging delicately in the balance...hinging on the truth.


Because that's what it's all about, after all, right? Speaking the truth. Owning the truth. And I've decided, until we do that, consider our impact on others, on the world, and on ourselves, we'll never see our pattern. Find our formula. Live in the truth.

Saturday, March 14, 2009


You are not a noble man.

You hide behind your loyalty
Your longevity
Your cluck, cluck, clucking of false bravado
Drowning out the truth with your unwavering din.

You are not a noble man.

Hiding behind your false pride
Your heroic efforts
At the cost of others
An outstanding debt
Never to be paid.

You are not a noble man.

Painting chalky pictures of the past, the present, the future
Smudging the rough edges to suit your arrogance
Re-writing the past to suit your own

You are not a noble man.

Blaming others for your own shortcomings
Empty thanks for carrying your burdens
Your transgressions
Your crimes of careless passions.

You are not a noble man.

Your poor wife
Your poor

No, you are not a noble man.

Friday, March 13, 2009


One of the most challenging aspects of motherhood, for me, is to be "on" all the time. Especially when worlds collide, the Universe explodes and all hell breaks loose. I harbor tremendous guilt when I realize my own selfish baggage impacts my kids.

"Mama, I don't like you better than a cookie. You are way sweeter than a cookie."

And then, the clouds part, the sun shines and I realize that forgiveness is what it's all about.

(Ramona, I could never love any cookie more than you, either.)

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Me Likey

As usual, my pal Alexa inspires and enlightens me.

This video is a prime example of why I am certain I will become a major Lykke Li fan:

Lykke Li - I'm Good, I'm Gone from Lykke Li on Vimeo.

Of course, that will require my taking this off of heavy rotation. Which I am not sure I can do......yet.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009


Sometimes when you're ready for a change, Nannette, and you kind of know it but won't admit it, when it comes, not only are you surprised, but it hurts.

Yeah, I know that doesn't help much, unless you remember the "ready" part. Because there is simply no change that might ever transpire in time and space that happens before you're fully able to use it for your own growth and glory.

Love watching you create,
The Universe

I've been going through some stuff lately. Stuff. Shocking stuff. Life-altering stuff. Revelations kinda stuff. The stuff that gives you pause when someone says "hey! how ya doin'?" kinda stuff.

And after weeks of questioning who I am, what in the world I'm thinking and feeling, where in the world I'm going....reading this gave me a moment to briefly believe that, perhaps, I do know what is best for me. That I do, indeed, create my own reality.

Monday, March 9, 2009


A bit of shameless plugging to start out the week. I've had quite a bit of interest in this print which, at times, annoys the hell out of me. But, I get it. It's cool. And it's very nostalgic. And who doesn't love nostalgia?

I've listed a couple new versions of the swing ride so please go check them out!

Saturday, March 7, 2009


More new photo-fun with the camera.

I'm so lucky to have such willing and talented models!

Thursday, March 5, 2009


Thanks to a tax refund this year, I've been fortunate enough to upgrade my camera. After eagerly anticipating the arrival of my new baby, I am enjoying figuring out how this contraption works and realizing I'm even more of a novice than I originally thought.

I give you, the inaugural photo:

I contemplated for quite awhile (the time it took from ordering to receiving said camera) what the first picture would be....the classic self-portrait in the mirror? Blatant picture of the camera itself? Artsy-fartsy still life picture?

But, no, it seemed only fitting the my first practice picture captured the essence of my life. The two things that make me strive to be a better person, to be happy, to live in the truth.

A very good friend put it perfectly:
"a new camera for a job well done- being. Symbolic in the biggest of ways, a reminder for you to look through a lens and find a new perspective. A calling to document your life. A celebration of beauty caught in single shots; triumph and heartbreak and the motivation to capture it all, because it is worthy."

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Kinda Kinky

Life has been mighty, mighty serious lately.

Let's lighten it up for a sec.

("Kinda Kinky", Ursula 1000)

Monday, March 2, 2009

Raise the Bar

No one ever regrets raising the bar, Nannette, ever, ever, ever.

Scare yourself,
The Universe