Saturday, January 3, 2009


"Mommy, who am I?"

I stopped dead in my tracks. "Wha...? What do you mean, hon?"

"Who am I? I don't think I know who I am." Such a question for a five year old. She asked it with such sincerity. Such fear.

"Well of course you know who you are, sweetie, you're Wilhelmina. You're my daughter."

She looked away in disappointment. I hadn't come up with the right answer. The desired response.

I've been thinking a lot lately. Too much. Too much about what I'm unhappy about. What I don't have. What I've lost. What was taken from me. What I've squandered. Her query made me ask the same question. Who am I? Really?

Then I watched a documentary tonight and it answered almost all of my questions. Single-handedly.

What I learned tonight, after watching people retreat to the bowels of the city for a myriad of reasons, was that it's not who I am but, more importantly, who I am right now. And, ultimately, who I will be.


  1. Jay @halftime lessonsJanuary 3, 2009 at 2:43 PM

    Is it too late to really believe that we can be someone else?

    As in, wouldnt we have changed by now if we could have?

    I am starting to think that it is minor adjustments only after age 30. Something about old tricks and old dogs.

    For what it's worth, I like you. And I think you have a life that some never will. So do I. But like you, I spend an awful pile of time thinking what if.

  2. WOWWW. What a little thinker you are raising! Much like her mama.

  3. I am amazed on how their little minds work all the time.

    And I want to know how your chicken picture can be totally cool art and mine just looks like a dirty chicken in the sky?? Pic from Austin by Whole Foods-I saw the "beauty" but still lack the talent to get shots like you.

  4. I love this post.

    I love that Wilhelmina thought this and that she asked you about it.

    I love your conclusion.
    It encompasses what truly IS important in life, doesn't it? Who you are right now. Who you will become.

    Simple and beautiful... and such an important lesson to be reminded of at times.

    Winx, Jinxi