Friday, October 31, 2008


Darkness falls across the land
The midnite hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize yawls neighbourhood
And whosoever shall be found
Without the soul for getting down
Must stand and face the hounds of hell
And rot inside a corpses shell
The foulest stench is in the air
The funk of forty thousand years
And grizzy ghouls from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom
And though you fight to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil of the thriller

It seems only fitting to wish you all a happy Hallowe'en with a l'il song and dance....

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

No Words

There are no words for how so many of my favorite bloggers and, more importantly, friends of mine have touched my heart lately.

Girl Howdy startled me with her gut-wrenching and candid post about a recent change in her life. I've always felt a connection to her....a wild heart worn bravely on her sleeve, a deep love of music and, now, a courageous ability to not only love but to let that love go on.  Without her.

If you haven't been following the progress of Stephanie and Christian Nielson, this may mean nothing to you. But, I think even if you don't know them or know of them, there is no way this will not touch you. Deeply.

And, finally, watching this confirmed my belief that we are all in this thing together. This uncertain and miraculous thing

I only hope I can aspire to be as brave and as benevolent as these amazing people.

Monday, October 27, 2008

My Answer Is...

Remember the Magic 8 Ball?

Sometimes, it's the only way to make a decision.

Thursday, October 23, 2008


There's really nothing about my 20's or 30's that I miss. That I would trade the life I have now for. But I do miss going to live shows. I don't think I'll ever get over that. And, I believe strongly, one day I'll go with my girls to see shows. Not only to monitor them but to just go. Because music is something I'll never grow out of. Ever.

I was fortunate enough to not only witness but be friends with a lot of the bands and musicians that I went to see on a regular basis.  That's probably what I miss the most....that connection with people that had that same understanding.  That same need for music. 

The Dusty 45s were on heavy rotation in the soundtrack of my single-girl days.  Billy Joe Huels not only inspired the crowd but had the grace to make each and every one of us feel like we were his favorite person that showed up that night.

That, and he lit shit up when he played. 

That always impresses.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008


Some of the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

"Jim" is actually Jeff. "Queen UK" is actually Bitter Lemon.

Jeff was my first love.  Bobby was his best friend.  I used to listen to them practice in Jeff's basement. It's true....the girls went wild over them and rightly so.

They both broke my heart in more ways than I can explain.

Sunday, October 19, 2008


This morning, after drinking coffee in bed with the hubs and attempting to catch up on the mountain of magazines and books piled on, under and next to my nightstand, I sat in repose. "I can't wait for election day....just to not have to listen to these ads any more" the hubs said in disgust after watching a two-minute deluge of nastiness and partisan rhetoric. I could not agree more.

Oh sure, I'm guilty of it myself. I've blogged about my fears and concerns and outrage about this election and the issues at stake mainly because I'm tired of sitting in silence, for fear of offending a friend or acquaintance. I've read a lot lately from bloggers who won't dare speak their minds and risk losing readers or followers or advertisers and, in all honesty, it made me sick.  So, ever the rebel, I spoke out. I came out of my closet and declared what I stood up for.....human rights. The freedom to be with the one you love, to love those that are different from ourselves, to make choices for yourself and your body. But, I worried regularly, in doing so did I join the ranks of the judgmental? Was I just another knowitall blabbing about their beliefs?  Could be.

I've gained so much from this blogging thing. I've made great friendships I would have never dared to believe I could've made.  I have found deep inspiration in a world of bloggers, artists, writers, activists.....humans.

It's a curious common theme, no?


And when it all comes down to it, when the niceties and pretty packaging are all stripped away, we find we are, essentially, all the same.  When the hurricanes hit, when planes crash into buildings, when the levees break, when disease threatens....we are all the same.

But why do we have to be reminded by these tragedies and terrors that we are all the same? That we love and feel and live.....the same.

The news of a plane crash this summer might have been just another plane crash news story in the constant barrage of depressing headlines but, in large part to the blogging phenomenon, it made worldwide news. The story itself is gut-wrenching....loving parents of four small children injured in a plane crash (not to mention the loss of the pilot).  But what really got to me and continues to get to me as I read the updates on her sister's blog, is the connection and the movement to support this family. I've read many entries by Stephanie about her beliefs, her faith, her politics....we are not alike in many regards.  But I also have read countless posts about her children, her husband, her family, her innate passion and zest for life and I realize, in the simplest and most fundamental of ways, we are exactly alike.

And, really, aren't we all?

As I read of Stephanie and Christian's interminable and grueling healing process, I feel ridiculous.  My worries and "problems" seem laughable. My complaining and whining for what I don't have is humiliating. 
"I am starting to believe that there is no such thing as tragedy. There is only opportunity for growth, and should you accept it, the reward overcomes the sailing of the hardship."

Thursday, October 16, 2008


I agree with Jay. The constant barrage of negativity and mud-slinging is disheartening. Nothing sticks in my craw more than hateful actions and words.

Case in point:

Isn't it mind-boggling to realize that people actually think this way? Believe these things and vote accordingly?  It saddens me. Greatly.

It nauseates me far more than any debate or any discussion.

It makes me wonder if Martin Luther King, Jr. is watching us and shaking his head.  I know I am.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Been there, Done that.

One of the most treasured aspects I've discovered in this bloggy ether is the common thread amongst us. As women. As parents. As human beings.

This blog post really brought it home for me today. We've all been there at one time or another. In one way or another.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Sticks and Stones

I don't live in California but I wish I did....simply so that I could cast my vote.  Regardless of where you live, you should watch this movie.

Don't hate, people. Seriously. Think long and hard.

How would it feel to have your human rights taken away?

Monday, October 13, 2008

I Got Nuthin

After enduring a hectic pace for the past few weeks coupled with illness and finally a much-appreciated visit from a dear girlfriend (sick and cleaning a house? not fun) I was grateful to be tagged to blog about random "facts" about myself.

I can't guarantee you'll be riveted by this list but at least I'm giving it a whirl.  Thanks for your continued interest while things are just not that interesting around here, people.

1.  I am a reformed smoker.  And there's practically nothing more annoying than that.  I used to smoke "socially" which basically translates to any and every time I was out socializing with a cocktail in my hand.  Which was a lot in my 20's and early 30's.

2.  I am the "baby" of my family.  Which, according to certainpersonsiamrelatedto, means that I had everything handed to me on a silver platter.  But, I can assure you, that was not the case. Because the sibs are six and nine years my senior it was essentially like growing up as an only child. 

3.  I am obsessed with music.  Always have been. I hate to think of a day without it.

4.  I sometimes fear the afterlife.  I worry there may be a smackdown at the pearly gates. Or worse, I won't be on the list.

5.  I have absolutely no idea what I want to be when I grow up.  Which poses somewhat of a problem as I turned 40 this year.

(And, in the spirit of sharing my traits warts and all a la Debbie, here's one I'm not proud of.)

6.  I am ridiculously competitive.  For years I honestly thought it was just people I seemed to meet and become friends with but, over the years (and thanks to the Hubs pointing it out repeatedly), I've come to accept the fact that I'm a competitive cow at times.

In an effort to keep this going and learn more about my peeps, I'm going to tag some wunnerful bloggers.  Of course, your response is not required but much appreciated!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008


It's amazing what a person can accomplish when the internet is down. I have stacks of things to be sorted, put away, organized and purged. One of the things that has been at the top of my To Do List has been to sort, organize and put away pictures of my children, husband, wedding, family and friends. Today, I had that chance.

It was heartwarming to look at all the pictures of my girls in their first days and months of existence. It was a bit startling to see myself looking so fresh and awake considering how I think I look most of the time now. It made me long for the ability to schnuggle them and carry them close to me. Seeing all of their baby pictures transported me back in time in a way that I hadn't anticipated.

But nothing could prepare me for this.

This is a love letter sent to me from my gorgeous niece (postmarked 7 April 1992). I have no idea what the reason was for this letter but thank God I was smart enough at the moment to hang on to it. You see, when this little ray of light made her way into the world, she instantly marked my heart. Forever. She was a piece of my brother....the brother I had worshipped as a young girl. But, what I hadn't bargained for, was that she would always seem like a kindred.

I've always been the black sheep of our family. The child that came much later to my parents...nine and six years later than their other children. An afterthought, in a way, but always a welcomed afterthought according to my mother. I've struggled with not understanding why I was so different. Why I couldn't be like them. Disciplined, driven, talented, smart.....all the things everyone in my family seemed to accomplish with virtually no effort. But when she showed up, she accepted me with no hesitation.

Maybe it was because I was the baby of my family....the immature one.  The wild one.  The whogivesadamn one. Maybe it was that unconditional love that young children seem to have before we contort their views and teach them with our own bias.  Or maybe, like her mother, she had that quiet strength of just knowing. I'll never know for sure but what I do know is that I'll always be grateful for it.  And for her.

Here are a few other gems I unearthed in my organizing.  Proof, I like to think, that she and I were old friends from the get-go.

Snuggling at the cabin before it became an estate.

Birthday Love. (I mean, really, could these kids be any cuter? And, yes, that is a scrunchy in my hair.)

Further proof that she was born an entertainer.

The gene pool. (I always loved that people assumed my sister-in-law was my sister.  She was, really.)

My first wedding day. She broke my heart years later, after divorcing, when she asked me what would happen to her flower girl status.  

Monday, October 6, 2008


It's no secret that I'm a serious Francophile but that doesn't mean that I don't love me some British humor (Monty Python, The Young Ones, As Time Goes By...just to name a few). No words can convey my sheer joy upon learning that this fabulously hilarious show was coming to the USA. It saw me through many a dark day whilst living in the Emerald City for the last time. The birth of my second daughter, while it was a huge blessing, was a very difficult time due to a disastrous decision to move back to the Big City coupled with the catastrophic news that my sister-in-law had been diagnosed with leukemia. Times were tough all around.

This is a shining example of the deliciously twisted humor featured on this riotous show:

The premiere featured this horrifyingly uproarious bit that I simply can not post on the blog as it borders on offensive.  

But I dare you not to laugh.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Ready, Set....Giveaway!

Thanks Jay, you are The Best
(Thank God for Facebook because, otherwise, I would've lost out on these very special friendships
 that I was lucky enough to forge years ago when I hadn't a clue).


Saturday, October 4, 2008

Friday, October 3, 2008

I Have a Dream

I never thought I'd ever actually be this lucky. To have these little creatures show up in my world and reinvent me in ways I'd never been brave enough to dream up on my own.

I love that they love me unconditionally. When I make them come in for dinner instead of playing with their friends in the backyard. When I make them brush their teeth and go to bed when they really want to stay up late. When I make them at least try their dinner instead of just saying "I'm full" (and miraculously having room for dessert).

I love them because they love music. Not just enjoy it and blindly dance to whatever we put on but to specifically ask "Mama, can we hear Dancing Queen again?" for the fortieth time.

I love how their idea of dress up is vogue-ing in mommy's crazy sunglasses.

I love them. Oh, how I love them.

"I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels"


(Nik, this is my version of Funky Photo Friday!) 

Thursday, October 2, 2008

So, basically what you're saying is... don't know. Right around 3:30 is where she's most brilliant.


Also, this should be required viewing before election day. Appalling. Simply appalling. And, as a member of a family that has been in this frightening position, I urge you to make the time to watch it.

Only 32 days to go.