Friday, June 20, 2008

Countdown

Forty years ago, my mother was pregnant with her third child living alone in Boise with two small kids while her husband did his second tour in Vietnam. She was about to turn 32. I am in awe when I think of how she managed the non-stop schedule she must have had. Not to mention the stress of having a baby on her own and wondering if this little one would ever meet her father.

When I think of this, as I ping pong between dread and relief over turning forty this year, I realize how selfish and petty it is. I have been making many changes in my life in the hopes of being a better mother, a better wife, a better daughter, a better person overall.

One of the changes I have done my best to avoid is my diet. When I was pregnant with my girls I was introduced to gestational diabetes and what it entails to control and manage it. It was the first time in my life that I actually had to think about what I ate and how it effected me (a lot easier to be motivated when a little person is relying on you!). After meeting with a nutritionist and learning how to monitor my blood glucose levels (testing before and after I ate my 6 small meals per day) I was overwhelmed to say the very least. The first day of trying to figure out what I could eat that wouldn't shoot my blood sugar levels through the roof put me in a panic. I called my husband in tears for fear of eating the wrong thing and hurting our little one. Once I got a grip, on myself and my diet, it was an easy transition. And I had never been so healthy.

It's not uncommon for mothers to put themselves at the end of the priority list in their lives. I have fallen into the same rut where I eat the leftovers of my children's meals. I fuel myself with caffeine and sugar as I blow through my days. All the while feeling exhausted, frustrated and angry with myself for not doing what I know I should do.

So, today begins the countdown. 45 days until I turn 40 and 21 days until I feel cleansed.  After reading Heather's tweet about her sudden burst of energy on Day Four and then her ongoing updates, I realized this is what I need to do.  This is what I want to do.

Please bear with me as I embark on this adventure.  I'm dreading the caffeine withdrawal the most but am excited to see what happens.  

1 comment:

  1. Ooooh, how exciting! I've been keeping up with Dooce so I'm aware of how intense the next 21 days will be for you, but I know you can do it! Can't wait to hear how it goes for you!

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